Twat Waffles

“Twat waffle” is defined by the Urban Dictionary as a meaningless insult which can be used to refer to anyone or anything that a person dislikes. We dug a little deeper though – the Urban Dictionary also listed “Twat Waffle” as a vagina that is so shriveled, it looks like a defrosted waffle. While at first glance this didn’t sound very appetizing, we tweaked our standard favorite waffle recipe a little bit, and came up with what is sure to be a much tastier way to start your morning.

Start with the basic recipe and then use your imagination! Every woman and her waffle is a little different. We’ve included a few fun serving suggestions to get you started.


Basic Twat Waffle Recipe

1  cup  all-purpose flour
2  teaspoons  sugar
1  teaspoon  baking powder
1/8  teaspoon  salt
1  cup  sliced strawberries
2 T. milk (you may wish to add more if the batter is too thick)
1  tablespoon  vegetable oil
1/4  teaspoon  vanilla extract
large egg
Red food coloring
Cooking spray

Preparation

Lightly spoon flour into a dry measuring cup; level with a knife. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl; make a well in center of mixture. Place strawberries, milk, oil, vanilla, and egg in a blender; process until smooth. Add pureed strawberry mixture to flour mixture, stirring just until moist. If the color of the batter isn’t quite the pink you desire, add red food coloring 1 drop at a time, stirring thoroughly before adding more.

Coat a waffle iron with cooking spray; preheat. Spoon about 1/4 cup batter per 4-inch waffle onto hot waffle iron; spread batter to edges. Cook 5 to 6 minutes or until steaming stops; repeat with remaining batter.

Serving Suggestions:

“Time of the Month” twat waffle: Serve with strawberry syrup. A nice touch is adding small chunks of strawberries to your mixture.
“Morning After” twat waffle: Serve generously dolloped with whipped cream or Cool Whip.
“Au Naturel” twat waffle:  Sprinkle waffle abundantly according to your hair color. We suggest shaved chocolate, coconut dyed with food coloring, or candy sprinkles. For a Brazilian twat waffle, sprinkle one very thin line down the center of the waffle.

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