I don’t want to alarm any of my regular readers but I feel I need to tell you something.
Netflix is in league with the devil. Stop laughing. This is serious.
At once!
Let’s take a look, shall we?
Deadly sin #1: Lust
Netflix features films that feature attractive women. In some of these films, the women not only dress provocatively, they actually remove their clothing. These acts do nothing but create lust within the minds of young men. Those not driven wild with desire come to the faulty conclusion that they are gay and begin to enjoy the sights of the beautiful beautiful man flesh that pervades popular culture. Be it Daniel Craig’s six pack in Casino Royale or Kevin Costner’s bare ass in Dances with Wolves, these shots drive young men wild with desire.
Women, of course, are chaste and pure until marriage and are not affected by such things.
Deadly sin #2: Gluttony
How many people do you know who sit down in front of a movie with a bag of chips, a six pack of Mountain Dew and a bag of M & M’s? And then they finish it all. And get seconds. Nobody eats rice cakes while watching Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen.
Deadly Sin #3: Sloth
Now that you can stream a movie any time you want, there is no waiting for the next movie to come and therefore no reason to actually get up from your chair.
Deadly Sin #4: Wrath
I don’t know about you, but I get pretty pissed off when I can’t stream the movie I wanted to see.
Deadly Sin #5: Greed
Do you realize that Netflix and the movie studios are only streaming these movies so they can make a profit??????? I see by your face that this is a surprise. By sitting on your couch and watching these movies, you are lining their pockets with gold. And that is what Lucifer wants you to do.
No! I’m not talking about the cat from Cinderella! Focus! Your soul is at stake here!
Deadly Sin #6: Envy
Everyone who does not have streaming Netflix wants it. This sort of covetous behavior will never do.
Deadly Sin #7: Pride
Have you seen those movie actresses like Angelina Jolie strutting around wearing jewelry and make-up? How about Daniel Craig showing off that six pack? These are the acts of godless people!
No number of “Left Behind” films is going to save your soul if you continue to suckle on the teat of Netflix. Not when they have titles like Dogma, Inherit the Wind, The Omen and Gigli.
Remember, if you sign up for Netflix, “Abandon hope all ye who enter” will be written on your next credit card statement.
Go with the mob. At least your soul won’t be in danger.
