SKYWALKER RANCH – George Lucas has fiddled with his creation that is beloved by millions of fans, once again. In new editions of episodes four through six, digital updates will be applied to add new characters and special effects. The kiss between Luke and Leia in Empire Strikes Back will be digitally altered to be done only on the cheeks, a new scene showing Boba Fett blasting his way out of Sarlacc’s pit will be added to Return of the Jedi, and, in what can only be described as a giant “fuck you” to fans, Jar Jar Binks will be added to a scene in A New Hope.
The new editions will see a brief theatrical release shown only in theaters equipped with a Sony Astonilypse Digital Projector. This will limit the release to Los Angeles, New York, Seattle, and, for some reason, Gary, IN. Fan desire to see the new movies has already forced Gary to build it’s first ever hotel.
Lucas has also announced plans to make all fan fiction canon, thereby, rendering all continuity pointless forcing fans to stick, exclusively, to the original trilogy which will, at that point, no longer be available on either blu ray or dvd.
