Man Denied Entrance to Heaven as Velvet Rope Lifted for Hot Chicks

HEAVEN – Frank Cocozzello, a man who lived a pious life of good deeds and stifling prurient desires, was denied access to the Silver City despite his commitment to living a sin free life and repenting what few sins were committed. As he pled his case, St. Peter casually lifted the velvet rope that guards the pearly gates of Heaven for two scantily clad women with large breasts.

“I should most definitely be on the list!” Cocozzello yelled to St. Peter. “C,mon, my girlfriend’s in there!” “A lot of people’s girlfriends are in there.” St. Peter retorted as he lifted the rope again, this time for recently deceased actor/drug czar Dennis Hopper who paused to ask Cocozzello “Like, what’s your problem, man?”

Despite pointing his name out on St. Peter’s list, Cocozzello was forcibly ejected from the premises and was forced to spend eternity at a local dive bar infamous for its chili fries and Galaga machine with a broken joystick.