April 5th, 2010
In a press conference on the steps of the Castle, a visibly emotional Jack Sprat admitted to having an affair with Bo “Little” Peep, the Royal Shepherdess. Sprat, the King’s Chamberlain, has been dodging rumors of infidelity for months, ever since unflattering photos of his wife surfaced in the Kingdom’s tabloids. “She may never eat lean, but she’s still beautiful to me,” he has stated in previous press releases.
A spokesman for the Interior Ministry has released a statement stating that the affair was uncovered during an internal investigation into why Bo Peep kept losing her sheep. “Miss Peep has been placed on administrative leave pending charges of dereliction of duty,” he said, shaking his head. “I guess now we all know why,” he added.
The affair, which follows closely at the heels of the tragic Humpty Dumpty fatality has thrown the competency of the King Cole administration into question. “First he makes budget cuts that leaves me unable to pay my rent,” stated an old woman who had been forced to move her whole family into a shoe for shelter, “and now the corruption in his administration has led to this infidelity. It’s worse than that incident a few years ago where his Head Chef was arrested for imprisoning his wife in a pumpkin shell.”
The King could not be reached for comment.
