I gotta be honest here. I liked Iron Man 2. But I’m not going to write about the movie.
Instead, I’m going to tell you all the stuff I was doing while you nerds were waiting in line to watch the film less than 24 hours before I did.
- Having sex with my girlfriend.
- Eating food that was not from McDonald’s, Arby’s or Burger King.
- Having sex with my girlfriend again.
- Mowing my lawn. Because people who don’t spend all their money on action figures can afford to spend it on other stuff – like moving out of their parent’s basement.
- Spending time with my kids. Kids are a by-product of getting laid.
- Completing a graduate level college course on the Middle East. Yeah, I’m that much smarter than you.
- Driving to and hiking in Badlands National Park. Because that place is amazing and it is actually real. Unlike Middle Earth, you obsessed whack jobs.
- Having sex with your girlfriend.
- Re-watching every episode of Star Trek: The Original Series and Star Trek: The Next Generation just to remind myself how much they suck.
- Working out. Because I want to be alive to ridicule everyone who stands in line for a week when Iron Man 8 comes out.
Yeah, that’s right bitches. I did all of that and all I had to do was wait 18 hours longer than you did to watch Iron Man 2.
A second time.
Ohmygodthatmoviewasfuckingawesome!!!!!!!
