I’m conflicted. Like most people, I was really excited to see Inception because the trailer made it look like a mind blowing trip of a movie. Christopher Nolan has made a lot of movies that don’t suck and I admit to having a nearly platonic man crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. Leo, I’m not interested in sex with another guy but if you come calling, I’d consider it. My number’s listed.
Aside from my own conflicted sexuality as I contemplate how much better this movie would have been if Leo had been naked, is my conflicted response to the film itself.
The movie seriously blew my mind. I think it is the best pure Science Fiction film I’ve seen in years. I walked out of the theatre and I seriously told my wife “that was fucking amazing – I loved every minute of that film. And I think that Leo…um…Marion Cotillard was totally fucking hot.”
But then I got to thinking about the film and I had to ask myself what the fuck had actually happened. And seriously – what kind of pretentious filmmaker would decide to set almost their entire film inside a dream world where literally anything could happen? It was like Nolan thought that he had creative control over what he put on the screen or something.
All those special effects with cities folding over on themselves were just there to trick me into thinking something relevant was taking place when instead, this was just a big budget special effects blockbuster that had the audacity to suggest it had some sort of deeper meaning. What the fuck did Nolan think he was trying to do?
The next morning, though, after I spent the whole night dreaming about the film, I realized that it all made a lot of sense and the movie was one of the best films ever made. Probably the best film ever made. In fact, if it doesn’t win best picture, I’ll kill someone.
As I think about it now, though, I have to say that maybe Nolan overreached his grasp. He is still a young filmmaker and he has no business taking on something this ambitious. Oh yeah, he made a couple of decent “Batman” films but he doesn’t seem to have worked too hard on anything he’s made since Memento.
Maybe he should have directed a Bond film or something a little less challenging before he took on Inception. Who does this guy think he is, Steven Fucking Spielberg? Stanley Kubrick? Martin Scorsese?
How dare he compare himself to Scorsese? He’s not even fit to talk shot composition with Scorsese! And Stanley Kubrick could fuck a mind better than Nolan will ever fuck anyone’s mind. And when it comes to puplist, thoughtful filmmaking, I’ve thought a lot more when I’ve watched some of Spielberg’s films than I ever have watching a Nolan film.
The ego of a guy completely looking to create a place in film history is written over every frame of this movie. It’s an ego project, pure and simple.
But holy shit what an ego project! Man, if I was making an ego project, it wouldn’t be half as awesome as this movie!
So, in summary, Inception is a mind blowingly amazing film that I would watch again in a heartbeat. As long as I didn’t have to pay for it because it is self indulgent garbage.
And seriously, Leo, call me.
