Dear Frigid Slut,
I was having sex with your fat mom the other day, and I noticed a funny rash between her legs. Should I be concerned?
Signed,
Not Daddy
Dear Not Daddy,
No, the rash is nothing to be concerned about. The rash you saw was not an STD, rather it was a raw spot from my mother’s fat thighs rubbing together. However, the burning while you pee should probably get checked out.
Dear Frigid Slut,
I am a 37 year old virgin. How does one go about seducing women?
Signed,
No Personality
Dear No Personality,
One normally goes about seducing women with charming personalities and lots of money. If nothing else, one can normally rely on their reasonable attractiveness at the end of the night to get a bar slut to come home with them. Since you probably don’t have any of the above, I suggest roofies.
If you would like to receive advice from Frigid Slut, please send your questions to frigidslut@vilificationtennis.com.
