Dear Frigid Slut,
My mother is SO embarrassing! She talks about how she’d like to have sex with Brad Pitt, which is like SO gross, and she does it around my friends, and now they won’t come over anymore. She also talks about her period all the time. And she doesn’t wear a bra, so she nips out and makes people uncomfortable. She is KILLING my social life. HELP!
Signed,
Teen-ager
Dear Teen-ager,
Is she fat? Is she slutty? Because all our moms are. You could try out for vilification if she is. You’d fit right in. If she’s not, then suck it up, whiney-ass. Seriously. At least your mom isn’t fat and slutty.
_____________________________________________________________________
Dear Frigid Slut,
I am a fat, bald, divorced 43 year old male with no money or social skills. Will I ever find true love?
Signed,
Lonely
Dear Lonely,
No.
If you would like to receive advice from Frigid Slut, please send your questions to frigidslut@vilificationtennis.com.
