Dear Frigid Slut,
I read an article recently that a man can increase his life expectancy by 5 years if he stares at a woman’s breasts for 10 minutes a day. Does it matter how big the breasts are? My wife is flat, and I’m really concerned about my health.
Signed,
Ogler
Dear Ogler,
That study was reported to have been done by Germans, who are surrounded by large boobies. You might want to play it safe and go to a strip club. Also, tell your wife to try those new subliminal messages and audio-waves to increase her breast size. I hear it really works.
Dear Frigid Slut,
So I took a woman to the movies the other day, and decided to try the popcorn trick. I made a hole and put my dick in, but I couldn’t last until she got to my penis; the butter was hot and burned, and the salt stung. Is there a better way to do this?
Signed,
Movie-Goer
Dear Movie-Goer,
How about you don’t use butter or salt next time, dumbass?
If you would like to receive advice from Frigid Slut, please send your questions to frigidslut@vilificationtennis.com.
