Eldritch god Hastur had a disappointing Samhain this year as his small but fervent cult following failed yet again to manifest his horror upon the physical plane. “I don’t know how I can be more clear about this,” lamented the Elder god also known as He-who-cannot-be-named. “The high priest must utter my name, unpronounceable and forbidden as it may be, three times at the climax of the ritual. Not once, not twice, but three times Me-dammit!”
High priest of the cult of Hastur and preeminent scholar on all things Eldritch and Cyclopean, Carl, had this to say: “We were all disappointed with the results of this year’s ritual. But I would like to remind everyone that we have a complete solar eclipse to work with next year, and if everybody can just be patient I’m sure we can get all the bugs worked out.”
Hastur has been reported seeking solace from similarly afflicted blights upon humanity. While Beetlejuice was unavailable for comment, Candyman was willing to go on record saying, “I feel your pain.”
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You mind posting the source of that picture of Hastur? It’s fuckin’ brilliant.