BLOOMINGTON, MN – Despite possessing only a rudimentary knowledge of Star Trek, regarded by many to be the greatest television series of all time, Courtney McConnol attempted to locate her beeswax in a serious conversation being had by Steven David and Tony White weighing the virtues of Enterprise captains Kirk and Picard.
White argued that Kirk’s libido indicated a drive to be the best he could be while David argued that Picard’s stoic nature allowed him to transcend many human flaws. When White was attempting to counter David’s argument by pointing out that Kirk would always “Nail the cutest, never be Locutus”, McConnol interjected by saying “I saw the pilot, once! I think Pike is the best!” bringing the conversation to a screeching halt.
McConnol was then told to “taH tam” by White but she persisted, telling the two “men” that she had spent some time watching various Star Trek series in syndication, making her point valid. However, being the first female to interact with both White and David in years, Pike was declared “Greatest Captain Ever” in a futile attempt to initiate “First Contact”.
