By The Movie Dick, on May 7th, 2012 
This weekend, The Avengers earned a shit ton of money as the geek community collectively jizzed in their pants for 2 hours and 22 minutes in theatres all across the country. While the movie was very good, the reason it was a success had nothing to do with quality.
Instead, The Avengers did what filmmakers should have been doing for years. It found a way to appeal to multiple factions of the nerd community. By picking Joss Whedon to helm the film, they managed to get nerds who don’t give a shit about comic books but worship Whedon into the same theatre as jocks who just wanted to know how much of Scarlett Johansson’s boobs they would get to see (not much). Continue reading The Avengers Success Due to Unlikely Conjunction of Nerd Communities
By The Movie Dick, on April 30th, 2012 Vilification Tennis PROM NIGHT! For May, Vilification Tennis will help you recall the end of your awkward teen years when you went to a school dance in a ruffled tuxedo or a hand-me-down dress and danced to bad local cover [...]
By The Movie Dick, on April 30th, 2012
 I promise that I won’t write any spoilers about Cabin in the Woods as a part of this review. I’m not going to tell you about a single thing that happens in the movie. In fact, I’m going to spend the entire review exploring all the reasons the film had what one might define as a “lukewarm” box office record.
Reason number one: There was not a single giant robot in the entire film.
Continue reading Cabin in the Woods Fails Due to a Lack of Giant Robots
By The Movie Dick, on April 16th, 2012  Dear readers: What I typically write is satire. For instance, my recent article about how I did nothing but think about “The Avengers” trailer while watching “The Hunger Games” was false. Mostly. I did spent waaaaay too much time thinking about the appearance of Jennifer Lawrence and Scarlett Johansson in tight black outfits.
I want you to understand that the following article is not satire. It is completely true. Pity me.
Most children have obsessions. Some kids like Dinosaurs. Some kids like dolls. I wish that my youngest child liked Dinosaurs or dolls. He has no time for such trivial things.
Because, you see, his obsession is the Titanic. He reads every book he can find about it. He watches every YouTube video with the word “titanic” in the the title. He’s watched the movie “Titanic” at least ten times (he would correct me and say he only watches it from the point where the iceberg hits the ship but I think he’s just being pedantic).
By The Movie Dick, on April 2nd, 2012  I went to see “The Hunger Games” this weekend and I have to tell you, I understand what all the hype was about. In fact, there were several moments during the films’ 2 hour and 20 minute run time that I completely forgot the kick ass “Avengers” trailer they played before the film.
Continue reading “The Hunger Games” almost as interesting as “The Avengers” trailer
By The Movie Dick, on November 1st, 2010 Well I finally got off my ass and watched The Social Network last
week. I figured I needed to see something while I was waiting for
Saw 3D to come out. I love me the gore porn in 3D, man!
The movie is pretty good but I have one problem. It turns out that
the guy who runs Facebook (Matt Zinkleback or something like that) is
a complete asshole. [...]
By The Movie Dick, on October 18th, 2010 Let Me In was released in American Movie theatres this month and it has turned some movie snobs into an angry mob with pitchforks and movie blogs as they rant endlessly about the fact it is a remake of the great Swedish horror film Let the Right One In.
I know what you are saying. Did I just use the words “great” and “Swedish Horror Film” in the same sentence? Yes, I did. Watch the damn film.
The assumption, of course, is that the American film industry is going to muck the damn thing up (a fair assumption) and why can’t they leave well enough alone? They shake their fists at the executives who decided to make the movie and feel that the resulting film will end up somehow destroying the memory of the original. [...]
By The Movie Dick, on September 20th, 2010 I have to be honest and say that I haven’t been to a new movie in a few weeks. I’ve had a lot of other stuff going on and in all honesty, I don’t really like movies all that much anyway.
I do have a job to do, however, and because of that, I will offer my reviews of a number of films currently in the threatres based entirely on their plot description from the IMDB. I know that makes me sound like a lazy fuck but in the world of the highly educated, they call what I am doing “research.” [...]
By The Movie Dick, on September 6th, 2010 As the movie industry faces the deaths of great classic cinematographers like Conrad C. Hall (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid), it finds that the young filmmakers who might have replaced them are being killed off at an alarming rate due to the recent trend of “Found Footage Films.” [...]
By The Movie Dick, on August 23rd, 2010 You know the people I’m talking about, right? The people who convinced the studio they had to bring Samuel L. Jackson back to the studio so he could record a scene where he said “I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!” [...]
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