Knightbert

I need you to add some windows to your conversion van. [...]

Vilnuts - May 10th, 2010

I’ve been drinking malt liquor all day, Salsa… [...]

Spider-Man Lays Eggs in Bank Robber’s Chest

True believers across the nation were surprised and horrified after witnessing their friendly neighborhood Spider-Man foil a bank robbery, spin a web of justice, then lay close to one hundred eggs inside the chest cavity of the would be robber, Chris Wayne. [...]

Empty Box of Boo Berry Haunts Pantry

Do you know how hard it is to sleep listening to some Peter Lorre imitator endlessly moan and wail about nutrition and free shit for box tops? [...]

Man Denied Entrance to Heaven as Velvet Rope Lifted for Hot Chicks

As he pled his case, St. Peter casually lifted the velvet rope that guards the pearly gates of Heaven for two scantily clad women with large breasts. [...]

Boroscope

Your illegitimate son is still unaware of your existence. [...]

Idiot Comic Thinks Snarky Apology is “Good Enough”

Twin Cities comic, Ryan Rebar, mistakenly thought he would win his audience back with a half-hearted apology after referring to them as “uneducated cunt weasels.” [...]

Little League Team Gives Pedophile Icy Gatorade Bath

JORDAN, MN – Pedophile and little league coach Max Barber finally got his comeuppance after years of molesting young boys in the town of Jordan, MN. Despite living in mortal fear of Barber, the boys on the Lagoon Park little league team managed to gather the courage to pour a symbolic tub of Gatorade, representing the chilling isolation of victimization, onto their tormentor following a championship victory over their cross town rivals, Brentwood Park. Continue reading Little League Team Gives Pedophile Icy Gatorade Bath

Horrorscope

Progress at your place of business will come much faster if you cease to refer to good things as being “tits”. [...]

Captain Pike Idioticaly Brought Into Kirk/Picard Debate

White argued that Kirk’s libido indicated a drive to be the best he could be while David argued that Picard’s stoic nature allowed him to transcend many human flaws. [...]